Establishing A Strong Foundation For Your Marriage

A wedding is a happy occasion.  Much time, money and effort go into the preparation for that special day.  Preparing for the "marriage" also needs a considerable amount of time, money and effort in order to ensure that the happiness experienced on the wedding day lasts for a lifetime.

Relationships require a great deal of effort.  Actually, not so much at first.  When feelings of attraction are strong, it doesn't seem like much effort at all.  But after about two years or so, according to the research, the feelings begin to lessen and what is left are day-to-day decisions and all of the pressures and difficulties that can arise.  The realities of life can hit hard at times and having a partnership that is tested and true can help transitions go smoothly. 

Planning ahead is always a good idea.  Even planning a vacation ahead can make all of the difference.  Planning ahead for eventual conflict regarding all of the inevitable difference between two people of different genders, backgrounds, traditions, hopes and dreams can prevent misunderstandings and feelings of betrayal.  Taking time to discover which areas might need some attention may keep you from waking up one day with the common thought that perhaps you've married the wrong person after all. 

Conflict resolution through compromise and negotiation can be learned.  Communication skills are never taught in school, and often not modeled well at home....but the art of listening and reflecting can prevent unnecessary arguments.  Instead of becoming adversaries, you become and stay best friends.  Knowing about " love languages," how to enter into the process of "forgiveness," negotiating around "marital roles" and "money management" are just some of the areas that can cause emotional hurt and buried resentments. 

Sexual satisfaction is dependent upon avoiding arguments and  having the ability to talk to each other about feelings, fears and the deeper issues of life....especially for the woman.  Acceptance of the other's personality differences such as, being organized or disorganized, logical or intuitive, early or late....some of the common issues that will come up as time goes on, is important.  Learning how to complement each other in some of these areas will lend itself to a less frustrating relationship.

In summary, developing an intention for your marriage will have lasting results.  Your needs to feel loved and appreciated throughout your relationship by gaining necessary insight and skills will establish a foundation for a happy and secure marriage.